Important farewells
For some, the death of a loved one can come as a tragic shock. You might feel like the world around you has fallen apart and the thought of preparing the funeral feels like too much.
I can hold your hand I can get you through it, no matter how hard it feels, together we can put together those special stories and memories of the person that mattered most to you, so you can look back and know for sure you did them proud.
The ceremonies are written to be a heartwarming reminder of your loved one, retelling their story in a beautiful way that captures the essence of the person, including their hidden gems which family and friends will enjoy hearing, perhaps for the very first time.
Everyone deserves ​a formal farewell, it can be a traditional farewell or we can make it a unique and colourful celebration.
As an Independent Celebrant I'm not tied to a specific religion but I am a firm believer in supporting you to include all the special elements you know your loved one would've liked which encompasses their values and beliefs. Below are some ideas about what a Civil Funeral Service can include.​
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FAQs.
Funerals
Memorial Service
What happens when I first meet with you?
When we first meet I will be asking you about the person's family tree. All the important people in their life, family or friend, their role within the family, their working life or home life, their hobbies and interests and their character. All those things that made them the person they were and what stands out when you think of them.
If we can't meet face to face we can meet virtually and we can still capture all of the above.
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We can also discuss anyone else who would like to speak or perhaps they want to write something for the service but I can read it for them.
I also support clients if they are wanting to write the Eulogy themselves.
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Please read some of the testimonials I've received.
Poetry
Poems in a funeral service can really help you to say the things you feel unable to express in your own words.
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Many poems can reflect the circumstances surrounding the loss of your loved one; those who are gone to soon, those you feel are now rejoining lost loved ones, those who left due to tragedy or are suddenly taken and those who battled with a long illness.
Poetry can also leave a message of hope for the future.
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I have a wealth of poetry so if you need support to find the right poem(s) I can help you with this.
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We can also include any poetry or prose you have found or written yourself or you may have remembered it was one of their favourites.
Music
Music is a wonderful way to celebrate and remember the person you have lost. Music holds such meaning for us and songs can often centre around our relationships with others. There are often songs that completely remind us of the person we've lost.
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If needed I can support you in choosing music and the correct version of the song for the service.
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I've had Star Trek songs, football anthems, soap opera theme tunes as well as the more traditional ballads.
These can bring a smiles to all of those who knew the person well and can hold much sentiment when a more moving song reminds you of the person you've lost.
Hymns
You may also like to include hymns, especially if your loved one has requested a certain hymn or you know of one they particularly liked.
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Special acknowledgement
During the service you may want to show special acknowledgement for the person you loved by doing something that is in memory of them.
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Close family and friends may want to lay a flower on the coffin to show their respect.
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You may like to have photo of them on display in the chapel of the crematorium or burial ground.
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You may want to place a special item of clothing or favourite gadget/trophy or ornament can be placed on the coffin.
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Donations
If you are donating to a charity in memory of your loved one, we can mention this in the service and also on the Order of Service which I can help you put together.
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At the burial ground
You may want to throw soil.
You might want to each say something in memory of the person.
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At a memorial ~ Interment of Ashes
Children might like to make a memory box or a memory boat to send off in water, depending on your location.
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Please see my Unity Ceremonies page for more ideas.
Including friends and relatives
Some of the most personal ceremonies include contributions of close friends and family.
Family, friends or work colleagues may wish to speak at the service. Sometimes several people like to write something and say a few words which can make the service really personal.
Often people feel they wouldn't be able to speak on the day but they would like to write something that shares their memories of the person. I can build their words into the ceremony and on the day I can say the words on their behalf.
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I can also speak to friends and relatives and put something together with them if they aren't wanting to write it themselves.
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Memorials ~ Interment of Ashes
All of the items on this page can be included in a memorial service or Interment of Ashes.
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I would love to help you to plan a special memorial and if you would like some more ideas please visit my Unity Ceremonies page.
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Prayers
Often families say to me that their loved one wasn't religious but they think they would have liked the Lord's Prayer. This is absolutely fine.
Including a prayer can also support other people attending the funeral who perhaps do have religious beliefs. They may appreciate a moment to pray as part of their farewell to that person.
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You can also include a moment of silence.
Your story in your words (writing your own personal farewell)
Personalised service
When we first meet I would love to hear all about the ideas you have as you take this important first step to writing your own eulogy.
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I would love to hear all about your story, how you would like to be remembered and what mattered to you most throughout your life.
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I can visit you in person or virtually and it doesn't matter whatever stage of life you are at. If this is something you feel you want to do, I will support you in whatever way I can.
We can either meet virtually or I can call you if you make an email enquiry and leave me your telephone number.
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You can read some of the testimonials I've received.
Special elements
Writing your own funeral service can include all the above elements I've written about above in the Funerals ~ Memorials ~ Interment of Ashes sections.
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Please look at my Unity Ceremonies page too.
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I can support you with creatively putting together a service that you feel is everything you want it to be.
We can capture all the things you've ever believed in throughout your life and include any special messages you have for your friends and family because of this unique opportunity to share it ahead of your death.
Interment of ashes
Interment or scattering of ashes after a Direct Cremation
Interring or scattering ashes can feel hugely important after a family have opted for a a Direct Cremation (a direct cremation is where a cremation takes place wihtout mourners in attendance - no funeral service.) When this choice is made, the family may still want or need a formal farewell.
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The farewell takes place with your loved ones ashes either by interring them somewhere special/important or scattering them in a location they liked or had requested.
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I can support you to put together a meaningful service to honour them and support those who would like this last farewell.
Interment or scattering of ashes following a funeral
You may have already said a farewell at a funeral, but interring your loved one or scattering their ashes is also an important milestone.
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Family members who may not have been able to make the funeral may be able to make this special moment.
If you are choosing a meaningful location to inter or scatter their ashes, a ceremony might feel more fitting.
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Some goodbyes are incredibly difficult, especially if someone has taken their life, the death was sudden and unexpected, or it is the loss of a child.
Under tender circumstances such as this an interment or scattering of ashes can be incredibly important for those saying goodbye.
